What a weekend!

Many people have commented on the fact that I have a busy social life. It's true, I do, and I enjoy every minute of it. This weekend what no exception, I could have been quardriple booked quite easily.

Friday was quite tame , just a few cheeky drinks with Nadine. Saturday was a run first thing with Anne, then Iestyn came to take David out to lunch, Nadine popped in for a cuppa and the lovely Ingrid arrived for a good old catch up. I was good and made turkey meatloaf, used some of my sundried tomatoes from last years harvest, 'twas scrummy!sunday saw the lovely Ingrid leave to travel down to Swansea and then the adoreable Millie came with her mum Traceyto have lunch and see the chooks. It couldn't have been a worse day for the weather, wheelie bins blown into the air, flying wheelbarrows and rain of biblical proportions! Truly shocking , at one point I thought it was going to blow the kitchen window in. Millie is 3 and a total cutie, she was oblivious to it all! Had to put George in the greenhouse to stop him having a turtle complex and the hens, well they are as stupid as ever.

The house is quiet now, David has discovered the joys of F1 tv so I'm putting my feet up for a bit. I've a busy week ahead, Birmingham tomorrow, then up to Preston, across to York, back to Preston, then home, off to Slough , then home again. I need to be a bit canny with my packing, PE kit is deffo going in but I really need to sort out what food to take. I hate hotel food, there's never anything healthy on the menu :(

I'll just make the best of a bad job!

New trainers and old friends

Today will be a different day. Started at 8 with a 5k walk run with my neighbour, breaking in my new trainers, the old ones have seen quite a few miles and will be relegated to indoor gym work.

Blimey it's was cold out there this morning , but at least I got out there! Same old trouble , my knees take a while to get going, must have a word about that with Dave. It's not around the knees it actually feels inside, perhaps the fluid isn't pumping enough or perhaps it's the fact I'd only got out of bed 5 minutes before hand!!! Lazy mare!

Today I've some old friends coming round , both of them aren't having the best of times at the moment for one reason or another, so I'm expecting tears , laughter and a fair amount of hugging and kissing. All good therapy in my opinion.

I'm also going to cook for them - very therapeutic and I'm doing healthy too :)

The fire is lit in the hearth, the house is safe and warm, we are going to have a day full of warmth and love

Mirrors!

Apart from it being a hard week , it's been a bitter sweet week too. Bitter - a friend was worried about her health and another had been stitched up by some supposed work 'friends' I don't know about you but I personally think the health scare is the easier one to deal with!!! Friendship is a funny old thing, luckily I've been blessed with wonderful friends but when it comes to work, or when people feel threatened , those relationships can turn sour. The sweet side of the week was hubby birthday , we didn't do anything special but we had a nice time together drinking wine and listening to music. We have such different tastes too! Another sweet thing was I actually looked at myself in a full length mirror - naked!! For the first time in ages I wasn't scared, I wasn't horrified, I wasn't jumping for joy , but I didn't recoil in terror either. I'm still coming to terms with the fact a large chunk of my boob has gone, but hey ho , I'm still here and that's all the counts!!! A friend said that it's recommended that when you start on a journey like mine you should take photos ....I'm not brave enough for that yet and as much as David loves me he values his camera lens more!!! Off to have a massage later ....hot stones too .....luxury!!!!

That Friday feeling

No weight loss this week but I'm not surprised - hotel living ain't easy! Great news is that I've lost an inch off mt arse .....now that can't be bad!!!!!

The things you hide from yourself

It was lovely havng breakfast today with a challenging soul , someone you can talk to , someone who doesn't judge. The lovely Tarrah and I share different difficulties but we very much share the same language. She remarked on how controlled I was last night as normally I stay up with them. But to tell you the thruth as much as I want to be with the team the drugs make me tired and it appears to others I look grumpy. I'm probably not but just so knackered I cant join in!

We chatted for a while about what we were up to in our lives and then the killer question. What are you afraid of? No it's not spiders. hieghts I'm sure I can deal with ...I was brutally honest with her and told her I was scared of the cancer coming back. I confided how bad the side effects are impacting on our lives, how every time I look in the mirror I see a different person looking back.  'Aren't you tempted to stop takling the tamoxifen?' Yep - ofcourse I am .....but the chances of the cancer coming back outweigh the risk....I ....like many millions of other woman just have to get on with it and make the most of a bad job.

Whether it's cancer, disability, and abuisve marriage or realtionship, bullying or 1001 of lifes other shitty blows. You know what I mean Betty Red - we just have to pull up our knickers and get on with it ...and heaven to Bettsy we show how we really feel , eh??

What a week and it's only Wednesday

Have I ever told you that I don't like myself sometimes? No , wellit's true. Monday started with Dave coming round for my session and it was tipping in down with rain so we made the best use of what I hade in the house.

Kettle bells, swiss ball and my medicine ball , not forgetting the stairs! Big D was quite startled to hear all the grunts, groans and swearing coming from downstairs but at the end of a very quick 45 minutes I felt wonderful. Just a full days work to get through before I travelled the 150 miles across country to Milton Keynes.Simples!

Looked at the hotel online to see if it had a gym - result! My first one did but not my second , that was OK though as I knew the second night was a team party night and we just wouldnt have the time.

Spent 25 minutes on the cross trainer Monday night and was fair pooped by the time I'd got to bed. No alcohol with my room service - just 2 big bottles of water go me!

Tuesday came and it was a quick switc h to another hotel - never been a fan of Jurys Inn but thats where I had been booked in. What a dump! Had a great day with the team and watched them as they did an indoor skydive at Airkix - so wish I could have done it but I deffo know what I'm arranging for Darius next birthday!

Went to the best Chinese in MK with the team - Taipan, drinkies all round but I just wasn't feeling the alcohol vibe so just had 3 small glasses of red wine. left most of them to 'shoot' it out till the wee small hours but I knew I had to get back and do some work before my 2 days off this week.

Yep - It's Big D's birthday on Thursday and I know the wee ones want to come and see him  - bless. We are not making a big fuss, in fact he's bought what he wants and I'll just give him the money. Note to self - dont forget to make him a birthday card!

Drive home was frigging awful! The rain was biblical and I almost got taken out on the M5 by a lorry that was all aqua planing all over the place. Grrrr! Never mind, came home to handmade scotch eggs! Yummy!

Oh well, suppose I should get on with some work .........

Not today thank you!

It's Saturday morning and I hurt!

Inspiration is where you find it

Almost at the end of a long working week involving many miles sat in the car left to my own thoughts and I started to wonder about inspiration, yeah I know most people think about what to cook for dinner but I'm a bit strange like that.

Inspiration is different than motivation for me. Dave motivates me to get on and try that bit harder, trying to get into my jeans without feeling like I've been cut in two motivates me ...but for inspiration...........

And then I remembered Paddy , you know Paddy Cunningham , yes you do ...if not google him. I remember Paddy talking to me on twitter last year about various things but one thing that rang true was there will be good days and bad days, you just have to celebrate the good, accept the bad and move on. You cant change stuff that's already happened! how very very true.

Paddy is on holiday at the moment and one of his biggest achievements has been being able to sunbathe without a top on.............something he'd never thought he'd do.

My topless sunbathing days are long gone but feeling comfortable in my skin isn't. So Paddy you have been an inspiration to me and my aspiration is to be around the pool in Menorca this year without constantly worrying about my marsupial pouch !

My inspiration next week could be something completely different .................yep I'm a fickle bitch! Have a great evening ...........I'm off to cook up a storm!

Boxing and sky diving!

Today I was introduced to the heady world of boxing. The lovely Dave put on some body armour , threw me a pair of gloves and said 'hit me!'

Hahahahahaha - what a joke. I was hardly Rocky and I'm sure Miss Piggy packs a better punch but I'll tell you something it was very good for the soul! I could take out any aggression without hurting anyone (although I did a 'power' punch and almost broke my thumb!)

I promised to tell you a bit more about my PT - Dave. You can see him for yourself here http://www.dgpt.co.uk/ ........and I had to punch him! LOL!

In other news I've been given a wonderful opportunity that I have had to turn down. It's not everyday you get the chance to indoor skydive but after talking to the lovely people at Airkix they have advised against it because of the breast cancer surgery, it's too recent apparently and the area wouldnt be strong enough. Oh well ...I'll just have to watch!

That Friday feeling

Woken up in my own bed....lovely. Still got the snotty nose and feel crap but jumped on the scales anyway. Whoop whoop lost 3 pounds! Now all I have to do is drag my sorry ass out of bed and go to my PT session. Friday is such a funny day , gateway to the weekend and all that, tonight I'm gonna cook for some friends , just haven't worked out what yet, but needless to say there will be a few drinkies!

Room service!

I promised to share with you everything so here it is. I've found the last 2 days hard work. Being away from home is never easy and hotel food is always a challenge but I did my best. I chose a hotel with a gym and I must say that I went there both nights of my stay. I made myself a pact to visit the gym after work and before dinner. I only spent 30 minutes on each session and I completed a circuit of exercises set by Dave. I did feel a bit self aware where the Lycra lovelies came in for a class , but there were plenty of other people there just obviously killing time. Me , I didn't have time to kil but I did want to prove to myself that it is possible to pack your PE kit and actually use it! So often it's come away with me but just stayed in the bag! Room service wasnt brilliant but I made sure I had a side salad with every meal, didn't eat the bread or the croutons and tried to have the healthiest thing on the menu. I made sure o have breakfast each day, cereal, fruit salad and yogurt. I actually feel quite virtuous but I must admit now, after an almost 4 hour drive home, I'm craving a glass of wine. I'm not gonna deprive myself .......but I've also got a PT sesh booked for first hung in the morning so there won't be too many. It's weigh in and measurement day tomorrow ........eeeek!

Hotels and packing

Todsy is another challenge. I have to go away on business for a few days. 1 - hotel food isn't always the best, I don't like to eat in the Restaurant so always end up with room service. 2 - I always pack my PE kit but don't use it. 3 - I still have a stinking cold. I need to make this easier for myself. I will pack my iPod, PE kit and before I order my room service I will use the gym . I'm not leaving here til 4pm so by the time I've sat in traffic I'll appreciate shifting my bones. My friend Mark has recommended Night Nurse so that will be my bedtime drink. I'm also gonna pack some healthy foods as it not just at night time I will find it difficult. Well , that's the plan. I'll let you know how I get on.

Just didn't realise

Gosh, this is a hard one to admit to but I think I've been bordering on the edge of depression. I only realised when I took a long look at myself and realised that I haven't given myself a facial for months, done my trotters for months or really cared about my appearance at all! Tonight I remedied this by giving myself a mini facial. Who knows what tomorrow will bring.....apart from packing for a few days away. That's gonna be difficult too!

A walk in the woods

Well , it's been a funny old day. Firstly deciding I wouldshare my new adventure with you all and secondly this damn cold is really getting on my nerves.

Hauling my sorry ass out of bed this morning was a great effort, I'd been woken in the night with the sinus fire form hell and hubbies snoring, but I had a date with a fit young man and a lovely 6 month old lady.

The fit young man was my Personal Trainer, David Gorwill, and the 6 month old lady is his boxer dog CoCo. Todays challenge wasnt in the gym but in Nant Fawr , Llanishen. This formed part of my regular running route last year but today it was a visit with a twist.

9:00 is a lovely time of day , the sun was out, birds were singing but there was still a lot of dew on the ground. Dave and CoCo turned upwith a weighted rucksack (just about 14 pounds) and we began our walk in the woods. It's mixed terrain, soft muddy fields, and whilst we were chatting about our weekend CoCo was busy chasing the tormenting crows. This seems easy enough I thought and the we began the climb uphill and out on to the roads of Lisvane. EEEEEEK ....I'm a sweaty Betty at the best of times and even more so since taking the Tamoxifen but I was literally dripping. It was great for my sinus though , lost of spanking fresh air, trying to get as much oxygen into my tired old body as possible to make the 5k walk a pleasurable as possible.

Yep it was a pleasure, and I burnt over 500 calories doing it. Now I know weight loss is just simple math , less calories in and more calories out to create a deficit. Should be easy right??? Then how come I struggle so much with it???

Dave was wittering on about diet and what foods I eat ....it's not the food love, you wont find any processed muck here, not when we have our own chickens and 3 allotments .....it's having a fun sociable life and a probably destructive relationship with alcohol that does it. But lets just face one demon at a time eh??

This cold is making me feel crappy so there wont be any more exercise for me today but tomorrow ........ I know what I need to do , but can I do it?

Here we go!

Here we go! My next challenge is to lose 66 pounds to get me to a healthy weight.

Yep - it's a big ask but I have till the end of the year. I dont know whether I can do it but I'm going to give it my best shot.

I've never been a 'small' person in any sense of the word, big laugh, big personality and now a big belly!

I'm not gonna try and do this on my own and I'm not gonna deny myself the pleasures of life. I'm just gonna try and do things a bit differently and see how I get on.

It's actually only 62 pounds now as I've lost 4 pounds over the last couple of weeks....I've still eaten out, enjoyed a drink with friends and had house guests to cook for and entertain.

Apart from my incredibly supportive hubby I've enlisted the help of another man...... another David......!

I'll tell you a bit more about him next time :)

M